People of all ages are in the dating pool. If you're a woman, you might be tempted to fudge some of your stats as, approximately, one-third to two-fifths of the male population is looking for younger, thin women. If you're a man, you might be tempted to fudge your financial stats or education credentials. Both genders might post pictures of themselves, on dating websites, that are 10 - 20 years old. All of this posturing and misrepresentation is a recipe for disaster as you won't look like your picture and, if you're not well-educated, your writing and speech will give you away. Most people don't appreciate being lied to and many will end the date before you have a chance to impress them with your scintillating personality. In dating, it's always better to be honest. There is no charade that can be kept up indefinitely and a relationship that is built on lies is a relationship that won't last. We all have our quirks and imperfections and should focus on those who like and love us because of or despite those quirks and imperfections. Honesty is just as important after marriage. If you behave one way before marriage and change your behavior, dramatically, after marriage, your spouse is likely to become a very unhappy camper. Many divorces have been caused by people who pretended to be someone else before marriage and who revealed their true personalities, characters, and behavior after marriage. If your self-esteem is shaky or if you're a compulsive liar, you're better off going into therapy than pretending to be someone else. If all you care about is short-term results, you can fool some people, but that won't bring you any happiness unless you're a psychopath or sociopath. The best relationships are those between people who value and practice love, friendship, honesty, trust, and communication. Until you're ready to practice these concepts, you might be better off remaining in the dating pool. |