Have you ever encountered someone who spoke with you for only a short time, but who made you feel very special? Have you ever wished that you could charm people in the same way that you were charmed?
You can. Although some people are naturally charming, I think that it's possible to learn how to be charming.
People are easily charmed by someone who is genuinely interested in them. How do you show your interest in someone? Ask the person questions about himself, his work, his life, his family, his interests, and so on, and pay attention to his answers. Speaking of paying attention, when you're talking with someone, in person, don't let your eyes wander around the room. Focus on the person with whom you're speaking. Smile or, at least, have a pleasant expression on your face. Laugh at the person's jokes.
Friendliness and humor are charming. The other day, while on the train, I asked a young woman how many more stops there would be before my destination. She answered me, as did the young man who was sitting beside her. I told them both that I had grown up in a different part of Brooklyn a looooong time ago. I emphasized the word, long, to be humorous. Then, I said to the young woman that that was her cue to say that I didn't look as if it was such a long time ago. Both the young woman and the young man could tell that I was joking by the big smile on my face. A couple of minutes later, the young man said, "Ma'am. I like you. I'd like to be your friend." I thanked him and told him that that was sweet, but I'm having trouble keeping up with the friends I already have.
The point of this story is that without going out of my way or even meaning to, I had charmed this young man by being friendly and exhibiting some playfulness.
Playfulness and lightheartedness are also frequently employed by charming people. Charming people are entertaining. They want people to enjoy their company and they find a way to entertain those who are fortunate enough to be in their company.
Finally, some people receive fewer compliments than you might think. If you can find something that you can sincerely compliment the person with whom you're speaking about, go ahead and compliment him. A sincere compliment is always welcome.
You don't have to be phony to be charming. You just have to be interested in the world and the people who inhabit it.