HAPPY NEW YEAR! Dating is tricky. It's a bit like a chess match. If you're an honest, straightforward person, dating is bound to be more difficult for you. People, frequently, say that they don't play games or that they don't like game-playing when it comes to dating. If they're being truthful, these people need to learn how to play the dating game. For example, a woman who is assertive and who goes after what she wants needs to take more of a back seat in dating. Men like to be "the hunters" in a relationship and are more interested in women who allow them to pursue them. If you're a woman and you are the hunter, you're more likely to be devalued by the men you "catch". Even a shy man prefers to be the hunter, although he might need more encouragement from the woman. One of the big issues women who date grapple with is when to become intimate with a man. This isn't as difficult to determine as women think. The answer is that it depends upon what the woman wants from the relationship. If all she wants is sex, she can become intimate during the second date. If she's looking for a long-term relationship, she'd be well-advised to wait until she's been out with the man several times (i.e., at least 4 - 6 times). There are many reasons for waiting to become intimate. One of the most important reasons is that, no matter what they say, most men don't respect women who sleep with them too soon. They think that if a woman is intimate with them before knowing them, they're one of many with whom she's been intimate. This might not be the case, but that's what men think. If you're a man who is interested in having a long-term relationship with a woman you've met, you'd be smart to take things slowly with her and to not pressure her into intimacy. Assuming that the woman is interested in sex, she'll let you know when she's ready. There are, occasionally, exceptions to what I've written here, as there are always exceptions, however, it's always wise to play the percentages. As I am in unfamiliar territory when it comes to the dating habits of homosexuals, I would venture a guess that, especially regarding lesbian relationships, the above applies. I honestly don't know whether the above advice is as good when it comes to dating between two men. |