Not all that many years ago, many women subscribed to the theory that they could have it all and do it all and they expected to do it all well. Most of the women who tried to have and do it all, without help, failed because it's a fantasy. It's certainly true that many women are capable of having and doing it all, however, most of these women don't have and do it all concurrently. In other words, they start out developing their careers, become successful in their careers, marry, and earn enough money to hire people to assist them with their "to-do" lists while they are raising their children. If you want or need to be Superwoman, that's the best way to do it. Nobody is capable of giving 100% of herself all of the time, but aspiring Superwomen attempt to do just that. It's really difficult to be a loving mother, when your child is acting out in order to get your attention, when you're home putting the finishing touches on an important presentation that you're giving the next day. Women put a terrible burden on themselves by thinking that they can do it all, and do it all well, without help. It is true that, these days, men are picking up some of the slack for their wives, but men never do enough; they rarely do it right, i.e., the way their wives do it and, to be fair, men are stressed out too! So, what is the solution? The solution is to (1) stop running this crazy race that your friends are running to be the most successful professional or executive, to be the best mother, to have the most beautiful and tidy home and to have better and more possessions than their neighbors and (2) be kinder to yourself by getting assistance so that you can enjoy your children and your career more because you're present and not thinking about the laundry list of things that you have to do before you go to sleep. There is absolutely no shame in admitting that it's impossible to have or do it all without assistance. Some of our mothers didn't work, so they were able to devote their time to their children, cooking, and homemaking. Their lives were less complicated, less demanding, and less stressful. Today's women are expected to be good at everything. We're expected to be successful career women; good, if not great, mothers; good homemakers; sports enthusiasts and participants; cultured; well-dressed; well-groomed; slim and sexy ALL THE TIME! I don't know about you, but just thinking about all of these expectations exhausts me. I'm not even saying that our husbands or boyfriends expect us to be all of these things. We often have these expectations of ourselves. I don't know whether Superwoman is dead, dying, should be dead, or whether she's alive and well and living in metropolitan New York. I strongly suspect that, in fact, there's a new Superwoman in town. That woman is the woman who admits that she's only human and that she needs some downtime. The new Superwoman wants to have it all, but she doesn't need to do it all herself. She's willing to spend money to have the freedom to stop worrying about the next item on her "to-do" list. Are YOU the new Superwoman? |