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Be Healthy - Love Your Work
How to Get Promoted
Do Business with Respectful Business People Only
The Marital Contract
The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

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My Blog

Relationships

Do Business with Respectful Business People Only

I recently contacted someone with whom I, briefly, shared an office, more than 25 years ago, to find out whether she'd be willing to pay me a finder's fee for referring good candidates to her. She said that she would. When I told her that I'd write an agreement regarding our orally agreed-upon business arrangement, she became defensive and said, "Don't you trust me?" To assure her that my wanting to get our agreement in writing was no reflection on her, I told her that this is the way that I do business and that I can count on one hand the number of people I trust.

The Marital Contract

There is a wide range of marital contracts today. Most marriages are, still, between two people, however, there are people who have open marriages, polygamist marriages, polyamorous marriages and sexless marriages. As a traditionalist, my concept of marriage involves a marriage between two people. For purposes of this post, I will discuss marriage between a man and a woman only. This is in no way, shape, or form a political statement. Soon, you'll understand why I am limiting this discussion to marriage between a man and a woman.

The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

People of all ages are in the dating pool. If you're a woman, you might be tempted to fudge some of your stats as, approximately, one-third to two-fifths of the male population is looking for younger, thin women. If you're a man, you might be tempted to fudge your financial stats or education credentials. Both genders might post pictures of themselves, on dating websites, that are 10 - 20 years old.

All of this posturing and misrepresentation is a recipe for disaster as you won't look like your picture and, if you're not well-educated, your writing and speech will give you away.

Good Relationships Require Work

Most of us have experienced what I'll refer to as lopsided relationships. These are friendships or romantic relationships in which one person is doing most of the pursuing, i.e., making most of the phone calls or doing most of the emailing or texting; giving more of his or her time, money, understanding, transparency; in short, showing more interest than the other party. These friendships or romantic relationships are not good relationships as, in order for a relationship to work, there needs to be a give and take with both people doing equal amounts of giving and taking.

The High Maintenance Woman

You don't have to be a man to dislike the high maintenance woman. I dislike her too. The high maintenance woman expects you to go out of your way to fulfill her needs. She can be retired and you can be running a business and, when you try to make plans with her, she can give you instructions as to what subway line the restaurant should be near. If you're smart, you'll tell her to choose the restaurant. If she can't take the time to take care of her own needs, it's not your job to pick up the slack.

Show Your Love (A Repost of Feb. 14, 2014 Blog Post)

It's Valentine's Day and it's the perfect opportunity to show the people you love how you feel about them. I'm not just referring to your husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, and children. I'm also referring to your parents, friends, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and, if they're still alive, Grandma and Grandpa: ESPECIALLY Grandma and Grandpa and especially if one has lost the other.

Valentine's Day can be lovely for those who have someone to love, but it's not such a picnic for those who don't.

A Peaceful Thanksgiving Day Celebration

Thanksgiving Day was always my favorite holiday until I was 36 and my mother passed away around that time. I've never truly enjoyed Thanksgiving Day since that time.

That doesn't mean, however, that you can't enjoy the holiday. This Thanksgiving Day comes after an especially contentious election season.There are bound to be some relatives who want to talk about it, find out how you voted, and either gloat or complain about the outcome of the election. If I were you, I wouldn't get sucked into that conversation.

Fantasy Relationships

There is a lot of chatter about online dating, but very little discussion of the fantasy relationships that are spawned by this means of connecting.

My definition of a fantasy relationship is a relationship that occurs between people who never meet in person. The people email and/or phone each other, frequently or occasionally, and might develop feelings for each other, but never take it to the next step, i.e., they never bring it into the real world.

There are a number of possible reasons why these interactions remain in cyberspace.

Be a Good Neighbor

I lived in a house until young adulthood. What I remember of our immediate neighbors is a young couple with a son and a vicious dog named Shadow and a wealthy elderly couple, on the other side of our house, who always owned Cadillacs. The woman was lovely and the man was a cigar-smoking braggart. I, also, remember good relations between my family and our neighbors.

When you live in a high-rise building, you experience a wide range of types, some of whom aren't all that desirable as neighbors. Since I live on the ground floor of my building, I mostly experience my neighbors in the laundry room.

Charming

Have you ever encountered someone who spoke with you for only a short time, but who made you feel very special? Have you ever wished that you could charm people in the same way that you were charmed?

You can. Although some people are naturally charming, I think that it's possible to learn how to be charming.

People are easily charmed by someone who is genuinely interested in them. How do you show your interest in someone? Ask the person questions about himself, his work, his life, his family, his interests, and so on, and pay attention to his answers.
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