Happy New Year!
When I think of triangular relationships, I normally think of a man or woman cheating on his or her significant other. That is not the kind of triangular relationship that I had in mind when I decided to write this blog. I'm referring, today, to that all too common, relatively new triangular relationship: a man or a woman, his or her significant other, and a cell phone. The offending party, typically, spends more time gazing into his or her cell phone than he or she spends gazing into the eyes of his or her mate. Maybe that's an odd compliment to one's significant other in that the offending party feels so comfortable that he or she can ignore the person with whom he or she is sitting. I doubt that I would view it as a compliment if my significant other found his cell phone more appealing than he found me.
Of course, there are times when you have to pay more attention to your cell phone. For example, if you're trying to close a deal or if you're waiting for another important e-mail as, these days, people rarely call each other. However, those times don't come about as often as it appears that people are ignoring the people who are, supposedly, important to them. I was once sitting in a bagel place and a married woman was talking on her cell phone the entire time that she and her husband were there. It occurred to me that, if I were he, I would have walked out of the place. Does she find him that insignificant that she can so rudely ignore him in public? If so, why is she still with him? Why does he accept her rude behavior? It would be one thing if he had been reading a newspaper or otherwise involved, but that wasn't the case.
These rude, thoughtless people are the very people who complain the loudest when their significant other leaves them for someone else. Don't they realize the part that they played in that drama? Why are we so quick to ignore the person who is most important to us to focus, instead, on an inanimate object? Why are the messages of other people more important than communicating with the person with whom we are sitting?
I don't know what your cell phone does for you in bed, but mine doesn't do a thing for me. Does your cell phone offer advice that you might need or calm you down when you're upset? Does it laugh at your jokes? Are we that afraid of intimacy that we have to have our cell phones on the table or in our hands like a protective suit of armor?
We live in a very strange world and I'm glad that my parents aren't around to experience it as I think that they would have been very uncomfortable in it. I don't recall their having trouble communicating with each other when we went out and I have no memory of any kind of buffer between them, like a newspaper or a book. They knew how to relate to each other and I guess that's why they had a long, good marriage.
If we want our relationships to work, we have to stop paying more attention to our gadgets than to the people we claim to love. We all know that babies need attention and affection. Adults do, too, and will, ultimately, be very unhappy without the proper attention or will pick up and leave for someone who recognizes their worth.
If you've ever been in any kind of triangular relationship, you know that they don't work. Don't make the mistake of thinking that your partner will understand your preferring your cell phone to him or her. Only someone with low self-esteem will tolerate being less important to you than your cell phone and is that the kind of person with whom you really want to be?
What do you think?